Warning Labels Are everywhere.
You find them on signs, packages, foods, walls – Everywhere! Soon you might even find warning labels on people.
Hey, maybe some people should wear warning labels.
Now . . . Here . . . For the first time, you can see Warning Labels that are worth reading.
General Warnings
Caution: This Lake Contains Water.
You Are Here, Looking at This Sign.
Caution: Pundits are dumber than they appear on TV.
In Case of Emergency, Appear Worried.
Caution: Use of wrong answers on this exam may result in a low grade.
Words on this page are the exact size they appear.
Consumption of fruits and vegetables is known to the State of California to make you healthy.
Do NOT feed the lions by entering their enclosure.
If you’re reading this, you’re not doing something else.
Caution: Speaking louder does not make you smarter.
Medical Warnings
Caution: Do not propose marriage within six hours after taking this medication.
Important: Consult a doctor if loss of consciousness occurs.
If symptoms persist, try our other products.
Discontinue use if patient stops breathing.
Repeated use of this product will improve our profits.
If symptoms persist for more than 72 hours, you’re really sick.
Nine out of ten doctors have accepted payment to endorse this product.
Business Warnings
This door to be kept open while walking through it.
Warning: Preparing an agenda may reduce the need for another meeting.
Caution: Effective meetings require accountability.
This employee to be kept awake during business hours.
Caution: Reading books may make you smarter.
Failure to submit payment may affect continued service.
This chair provided by the management for your convenience.
Product Warnings
Do not attempt to remove wheels while vehicle is moving.
Warning: This device becomes obsolete upon leaving store.
None of the ingredients in this product have any nutritional value.
Eating more than the recommended serving will improve our profits.
Caution: Driving this truck off a cliff may damage its suspension.
Attempting to remove contents before opening package may prove difficult.
Failure to start this machine may affect its operation.
Remove hanger from shirt before wearing.
Caution: Use of this product will void its warranty.
Raise lid before attempting to use this appliance.
A sudden noise may indicate machine requires service.
Caution: Driving this vehicle as shown in our ads may be illegal in some states.
Attention: Our lawyer is bigger and meaner than your lawyer.
And Finally,
Important: This list of warning labels is worth sharing with friends.
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